Why ‘mansplaining’ is not just reserved for Men?

Why ‘mansplaining’ is not just reserved for Men?

Reading Time: 5 minutes


We have heard a lot about men’s superior attack on women recently, whether in the work place or on the casting couch, but what about the recent reporting in the House of Commons where Theresa May called out Jeremy Corbyn for telling her the date of the imminent International Women’s Day.   Is this taking the issue of ‘manshaming’ a little bit too far?

I have personally been at the bitter end of sexism in the workplace, as a young actress years ago when propositioned by a well-known Film Director (who shall remain unnamed) when innocently auditioning for him in his office apartment in Kensington.  At the time as a naïve hopeful, who had my dreams squashed by his bullying behaviour, I had no option but to escape, literally by the fire exit, and consequently called my agent in floods of tears.

My Agent who was a key partner of one of the better known Managements, told me in no uncertain terms that I should have taken more care about being alone with him in his apartment, (how could I when this was the address I had been given), and to let the matter rest and keep quiet as the damage had already been done.  My damage I hasten to add, as she was in fear of her own reputation as I had made a complaint and stood up to a giant in the industry.  But that was back the nineties.

It is true I never auditioned for him again, nor did I want to but it was a lesson learnt, and I watched out of interest which actress did actually land the leading role in the movie.  This information will also remain confidential.

So, when I talk about ‘mansplaining’, I am coming from a place of empathy for women.  But in defence of the ‘unfairer’ sex, have had a lot of ‘mansplaining’ in my time from both males and females.

First those of you who do not know what the word means, and I am not about to act as the perpetrator.  But It is the act of a man explaining to a female who they feel is less intelligent or who needs information spelt out.

I think we have all been at the other end of this type of ‘put down’ as it certainly feels like that.  It has happened to acquaintances and friends a number of times.

A close friend recently told a group of us how he was talked down to by an employee who happens to be female, yes it can happen the other way round too.

My friend is a highly motivated entrepreneur, but is single and hopeless at the intricacies of technology and keeping house.  His PA who is a smart middle aged woman constantly ‘mansplain’s’ to him irrelevant information, forgetting that the person in question prefers to spend his time carrying out more urgent tasks, which is why the PA has been employed in the first place.

So where ‘mansplaining’ is concerned, it can happen in all walks of life and by both male and female.  So from now on I will call it ‘peoplesplaining’ and although it does not have such a delicious ring – it is certainly more honest – and may loosen the noose around our male counterparts necks for a while at least, and call a truce on the subject of ‘mansplaining’.

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Power Dressing – Show ’em Who’s Boss

Power Dressing – Show ’em Who’s Boss

Reading Time: 5 minutes


What image does Power Dressing conjure up for you?  For many it says Joan Collins with massive shoulder pads in Dynasty, or smart black business suits coupled with an expensive Designer hand bag or briefcase.

But Power Dressing really began thousands of years ago when females lead countries and commanded armies.  Think Boudicca and Cleopatra in their splendid metallic regalia – pure power dressing, and letting everyone know who is boss.

We are also seeing a lot of less obvious power dressing with females, who have abandoned their suits and stilettos for more comfortable attire, even donning a pair of designer jeans and converses with a white T and leather biker jacket, to present the image of ‘cool’ and ‘in control’.

milivanily / Pixabay

But it gets more complicated than that as we are now examining our own individual ‘brand’ to see how we can spell it out with what we wear.  The acceptance of the Selfie has given us narcissistic freedom to proceed.

A recent meeting with a head honcho at a global organisation said it all as she sported her new high shoulder tattoo, exclaiming that if anyone dared question her (and they hadn’t), then they were attacking the very essence of what she was about, her soul essence, and she was not going to accept any internal interference on her own concept.

Another meeting was attended with a top PR Executive with blue and purple highlights and colour co-ordinated earrings in her many ear piercings.  Perhaps this is more acceptable as the Public Relations industry is more artistic, but more and more women in powerful corporate jobs are bucking the trend and creating their own imagery, and wearing what makes them tick.

This brings up the question of social background, where bright colours are often frowned upon in certain circles, and will determine the colour or design of the outfit you wear for the job.  I always believe anything ending in ‘ology’ have set rules, and ethically sourced raw materials and basic colours are ‘uniform’ and separate the highly trained and paid professionals from the minions.  So they have their own code of ‘power dressing’, where the receptionist may want to oppose the ‘dowdy’ main players with a sexy short skirt and thigh high boots, their own kick back at convention, and a sharp reminder that their power resides in their feminine attributes, which they chose not hide under bland blankets of billowing beige.

We are talking about the snobbery that goes with the territory, and we are certainly more prone to it in this country, where the rules have been set in stone, but we still have a long way to go to break them down completely.

Take the colours of Mexico for instance, where the National Dress is multi-coloured.  Imagine walking into a board room with a dazzling dress all colours of the rainbow.  We just wouldn’t be taken seriously, as this look has always been saved for holidays in hotter climes.   But why not flaunt our inner flamenco dancer to get us through the tedious ramblings of the board room – it has certainly become the ‘bored’ room as it is attended by far too many males with their relentless banter of premiership.

prunkova / Pixabay

It will be interesting to observe the development of the self-branding process that already exists and how that will be adapted to all professions as we progress over the next decade, after all fashions change, so why hold back on Power Dressing which is one of our best weapons.

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Do You Believe in Ghosts – A Real Life Spiritual Encounter

Do You Believe in Ghosts – A Real Life Spiritual Encounter

Reading Time: 8 minutes

As the biggest cynic on the Planet, I was always the first to send up any mention of a spiritual encounter or a tale of a ghostly kind. So imagine my amazement when we bought our first house in France in the charming town of Montargis, and felt an eerie presence in the downstairs living room.

My partner and I had always dreamed of owning a property in France, and so on one of our holidays touring the country, we stumbled upon a charming little house going for only £24,000.

It was the late nineties, and we felt confident that if we acquired the bijou abode, just 60 or so miles from Paris, that we could transform it into something very special, have fun in the process and eventually sell it on for a good profit.

We returned several times to check it out, and was shown around by the local Estate Agent who had bought it for his wife who was a paediatrician and needed premises to practise her profession. So the house had been a place of healing, which felt good to us. What we hadn’t realised initially was that she had recently passed away, and so the house still held a lot of memories for the Agent and their son who was then in his early twenties.

We exchanged contracts and almost immediately began to renovate the house with the help of a couple of interior designer friends who had offered to help us at a fraction of their normal rate in return for a change of location and good company.

The first night my partner and I slept downstairs on a mattress we had brought with us in a van we had hired, and we had actually managed to make it very cosy – with the weather being quite warm as it was Summer.

In the middle of the night I woke up and felt someone was in the room. I quickly woke up my partner, and we both laid very still and felt the presence but didn’t actually see or hear anything. We were both too scared to put the light on, but listened in the dark, and there was nothing, but the feeling remained.

The next day we decided not to say anything to our colleagues, as we didn’t want to influence them into thinking the house was haunted. Also, we had consumed a few glasses of the local wine before going to bed and so felt in the cold light of day, that it could have been a figment of our imagination.

I was searching through the paperwork attached to the house, when I discovered that the previous owner had been called Jackie, which is my name and she was exactly the same age as me when she died a couple of years before. I quickly closed the file, and decided to ignore it, but was feeling a bit uneasy.

The next day the wife of of the Designer couple had been working on the walls downstairs, and she came up to the middle floor as white as a sheet. She said that she didn’t know how to tell us, and in fact felt uneasy about imparting the information, but was sure she had felt and seen an outline of a woman in the room where we had felt the presence.

The hairs were beginning to stand up on the back of our necks, and so after copious glasses of wine that night we decided not to sleep in the downstairs room but take our duvets to the loft and left the couple to sleep in the middle bedroom.

The next day we had to go into town to buy some materials, and so I went to the local library and looked up the history of the house and the area where we had our new home. I discovered that a tunnel was running from our house, and under the houses in the road to the Castle on the hill, where prisoners had been guillotined on many occasions. Perhaps this was the clue to our ghostly encounter.

The following day I decided to buy some incense and light candles and talk to the spirits in the house, and tell them in the nicest possible way to move on into the next life, which I had picked up from some random TV show or novel. So I was clutching at straws – or so I thought.

As I was practising my first ‘exorcism’ my partner brought me a silhouette painting of a woman he had found as he was taking down a wall, and it was a picture of Jackie – it was as if she was sending me a message. I then knew it was her that was trapped, still thinking she was here to heal children and probably not realising she had passed. I also felt there was a reason I had been attracted to the house, and that I had been drawn to it to enable her to pass over to the other side.

It took several attempts before the spirit left the house, and yes, she did eventually go. I painted Jackie a picture of happy children, spoke to her, lit candles and burned incense every day for a week before she finally went, and as far as I know she did not return.

We sold the house several years ago after we had renovated it and had many happy times there, but the ghostly encounter will stay with me for the rest of my life, and one thing for sure, I will never again question anyone who says they have seen a ghost.


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Are You A Hoarder? – Then Learn The Art Of Tidying

Are You A Hoarder? – Then Learn The Art Of Tidying

Reading Time: 7 minutes

If you are anything like me, you will be really reluctant to let go of certain items in your cupboards and wardrobe. But everything changed for me when I visited a friend, originally a hoarder who had discovered a new book and way of being by Marie Kondo.

I was still hanging onto a jacket I bought in Paris 13 years ago that is completely out of date, but because it was a one off birthday treat and was really expensive, I didn’t have the heart to throw it out. The same with two little black dresses that were about to become Vintage items, together with several coats, not to mention the T-shirts, tops and shoes I hadn’t worn for a long time.

Rule of thumb from another close friend is, if you haven’t worn an item for over a year, then chuck it out. But even more exciting for me was to follow the advice of this incredibly informed declutter expert called Marie Kondo who really does own the T-shirt where tidying is concerned.

Marie Kondo’s amazing KonMari method of tidying really is life changing and her first book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up has become an international best seller. The author views her approach with a psychology normally reserved for more intellectual pursuits.

I have been trying out the method ever since my discovery of the Kondo phenomenon and although I started with the wardrobe and more than 20 black bin liners later, have just moved onto the kitchen and drawers throughout the house.

I started the process by talking to each item as she advises, and quickly got the idea as the emotional recall attached to each one came flooding back, with flashbacks of past and present, some with old memories that had been locked away for decades. I soon got the relevance of Kondo’s revelation, and can honestly say that it is quite powerful in helping me to move forward and in some cases let go of the past.

I wanted to try it out myself before imparting the knowledge to all of you Glotime viewers, and can report that it is life changing as Ms Kondo purports it to be and will even go as far as to say that it does bring joy and happiness into the home.

Well it creates space and minimalism which is in line with clarity, and it is not rocket science to work out that this in turn sparks joy in your environment.

The beauty of Marie Kondo’s philosophy is in its simplicity, and gave me the spurt I needed to clean up my act and my home.

Praise for Marie Kondo and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:

“Ms. Kondo delivers her tidy manifesto like a kind of Zen nanny, both hortatory and animistic.” — The New York Times

“. . . a literal how-to-heave-ho, and I recommend it for anyone who struggles with the material excess of living in a privileged society. (Thanks to Ms. Kondo, I kiss my old socks goodbye.) … To show you how serious my respect for Ms. Kondo is: if I ever get a tattoo, it will say, Spark Joy!” — Jamie Lee Curtis, TIME

“This book is a cult. A totally reasonable, scary cult that works, doesn’t kill people (a bonus), but does drastically change your life. In this case — for the better.” — Buzzfeed

“The most organized woman in the world.” — PureWow

“. . . her voice . . . is by turns stern and enchanted, like a fairy godmother for socks.” — The Wall Street Journal

“Reading it, you glimpse a glittering mental freedom from the unread/uncrafted/unworn, buyer’s remorse, the nervous eyeing of real estate listings. Life’s overwhelm, conquered.” — The Atlantic

“I can only describe the way I felt afterward as an organizational high. I had a sense of being more in control of my life than I ever had before, which inspired me to maintain the order in the months that followed. Not bad for a Sunday afternoon.” — In Style

“All hail the new decluttering queen Marie Kondo, whose mess-busting bestseller has prompted a craze for tidying in homes across the world . . . one proper clear out is all you need for the rest of your life.” — Good Housekeeping (UK)

“Kondo’s method really can change your life — if you let it.” — TODAY.com

“Kondo challenges you to ask yourself whether each object you have is achieving a purpose. Is it propelling you forward or holding you in the past?” — USA Today

“Its strength is its simplicity.” — The London Times

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Dating Websites – True Love or a Fast Lane Lust Fest

Dating Websites – True Love or a Fast Lane Lust Fest

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Dating websites are now becoming the most popular way of meeting a partner. Gone are the days when your eyes would meet up with someone over a crowded room at a party or social gathering, and then stumble awkwardly over your words whilst checking out the other with symbolic body language and banter.

It is of course very difficult to clamp eyes on someone whilst you or they are checking out the latest news or emails on their iphone.

So where has the spontaneity of dating gone? We all know the answer to that, as it is the dating website of course.

Tinder was recently described to me by a fellow worker as a ‘shag fest’, as he unashamedly told me he had become obsessed with meeting women through the website, and most meetings had culminated in a one or two night stand at best, mostly instigated by him.

With a bit more exploration and questioning he then revealed that he had recently met two or three ladies who had ticked all the boxes but that he now had the freedom to check out more and so hadn’t settled for one – yet! Well at least he had an ultimate goal – although it didn’t seem to be in a hurry to find ‘the one’. Spoilt for choice springs to mind!

Another female friend met her life partner through the Guardian dating website, and said it would have been hard to find someone with the same interests in this day and age. She is mid forties, a writer and a reader, living in South London.   She enjoys walks and trips to the theatre, a bit of an intellectual and not really a social butterfly so found this to be a great way of linking up with someone. She had met her partner on a third date.

Many same sex partnerships have also been formed in this way of course, and it eliminates the painful process of meeting up in vulnerable venues if they require a more private approach.

I personally respect the ethos of online dating, but feel that there is nothing like the spine tingling, tummy churning excitement of connecting with someone for the first time in the flesh, and the ultimate challenge of taking the attraction to the next stage.

If you are still considering trying out a dating website then check out our top 5 dating websites.



Simple, straightforward and free UK personals site – hugely popular.



Dating Vegetarian

If you are looking for a kindred spirit and fellow veggie.



Love Arts

Matching singles who love theatre, museums and art galleries.



Dating For Parents

Where you are free to share topics like schools and science grades without boring the other to death.



Green Singles

With interests in environmental, vegetarian and animal-rights and people who value the outdoor life.



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