A wise philosopher once told me that to find true love you must accept that it comes with great loss – of yourself, your identity and ultimately of the person you love – as one of you will ultimately depart this earth before the other – which is a scary prospect in itself.  This is why many of us avoid the great love, as it can be too difficult to manage.  Although some have conquered the fear of falling in love.

“I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.” Alice Walker

But what if you could survive the agony and the ecstasy and embrace the anxiety that comes with finding the partner of your dreams.  Do you believe you deserve the perfect relationship – because the first person you should fall in love with is yourself.

I recently met a brilliantly ‘switched on’ writer and relationship expert, Trelawney Kerrigan, who has incorporated all of her experience and knowledge on the subject in a book entitled ‘Be the Woman He Falls for Not the Girl He Sleeps With’ which could also apply to men as well as women, as it is all about believing you are good enough for an equal loving relationship.

The book gives some insightful personal experiences, meditation, visualisation and guidance so that we can move forward and avoid those toxic relationships, and dangerous liaisons that can ruin your life.

Love is also not restricted to how old we are or if we have loved before, as we can find great love at any age, and it is never too late to fall in love or find an amazing partner.

‘So, love – when you find it – is something to nurture and treasure.  But here’s the thing – being open to finding love on the basis of love alone, ie forgetting about need, social status, financial security, family/society expectations – is a rare human quality.  Many of us go under from the pressure of our insecurities and find ourselves ‘settling’.  Finding great love takes courage, confidence and unbreakable belief in your own right to happiness.’  Trelawney Kerrigan

It is all the pitfalls that we are familiar with and seem to dominate our lives in love, but somehow Trelawney manages to turn them round and make them insignificant and powerless, so that we can pave the way for our future – to begin our own journey and discover our passage to true love.

“The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love.” Henry Miller


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