BEWARE OF THE BULLY – WATCH OUT FOR THE ENEMY WITHIN

BEWARE OF THE BULLY – WATCH OUT FOR THE ENEMY WITHIN

How many times recently have you heard the words ‘don’t beat yourself up’ or ‘don’t put yourself down’.  I can bet it has been said to you a number of times in recent years.  I know I am guilty of doing both, and it is now time to stand up to the ‘inner bully’ and show it who is boss.

It is hardly surprising as we are constantly ‘bullied’ by the media, ordering us to look more attractive, younger, thinner, smarter – unrealistic goals when juggling any sort of descent lifestyle.

As a woman of a certain age, I now feel compelled to fight back at this tough tyrant within, and have begun to congratulate myself on bringing up a family – no easy feat, being a great friend and partner, my own skills and talents, and doing a list of my assets.  I don’t mean in monetary terms, but my own attributes, and if you search you will find there are many that you can write down about yourself.

If you have this list by your bed, or in a prominent place where you can read it daily, I guarantee the negative feelings relating to yourself will begin to disappear.

Since I instigated this exercise into my own regime, as advised by a renowned life coach, ‘miracles’ started to happen, I was advised that they would.  I was sceptical at first, but seeing a close friend successfully turn her life around, I was urged to try it, after all what did I have to lose.

So this, along with daily meditation, my life began to turn around for the good.  I can’t explain how things began to improve, but can certainly pinpoint when, and that was the moment I stood up to the inner ‘bully’ and resolved to overturn the negative feelings I had for myself and stop setting myself unrealistic goals.

Small things started to happen at first, like a Yoga class appearing, practically on my doorstep and a part time job opportunity mysteriously coming up that would not eat too much into my time.  I have even been given affordable beauty products and treatments at the local spa, and a multitude of benefits I hadn’t previously been made aware of.

Perhaps it is the Universe rewarding me for taking action against the ‘bully’, or maybe I am now freed up to notice my own good fortune, but I recommend taking charge, as it can only be for the greater good, and certainly in these circumstances, it will be for your own inner strength and future.

So, the rule of thumb is that bullies are actually cowards, and if confronted will always back off.  So if you have done any sort of meditation, now is the time to have a serious talk with your inner ‘bully’ and tell them their voice is no longer effective in your World.

When the pressure is off you can then decide what is best for you, and you will be surprised at how liberating it will be to make your own decisions, based upon what you really need to make you happy.

If you would like more information on the above subject or any sort of holistic help, please contact us at Glotime.tv, where we can recommend related reading and life coach options.

Also check out the following for inspiration

https://www.amazon.co.uk/365-Days-Self-Care-Jayne-Hardy/dp/1409183432
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1847370292/
https://lynnefranks.com/

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Cheesy Pin Wheels – with Love or Hate Twist

Cheesy Pin Wheels – with Love or Hate Twist

We have had a big response to our recipe for Cottage Pie with a twist of Marmite https://www.glotime.tv/hearty-cottage-pie-twist-love-hate/ and we were asked if we had anymore Marmite enriched recipes to try. Well here we go with a very quick and simple recipe for Marmite Cheesy Pin Wheels, They can be prepared really quickly for last minute guests or as a treat to be shared with a glass of wine or prosseco. They are also easy for the kids to make for party snacks or picnics.

wheels

Ingredients

Packet Ready Made Rolled Puff Pastry

Marmite

Grated Mature Cheddar Cheese

1 egg whisked for glazing

 

Instructions

Preheat oven to 180°C

Un-roll pastry. Spread Marmite evenly over pastry. Tip: Heat the marmite in the microwave to make it easier to spread but work quickly as it cools fast.

Sprinkle the cheese evenly over the Marmite leave a small gap at the far end to seal.

Roll up from the long side tightly, sealing the end with a dab of water. Cut into 1cm slices.

Form into wheels and lay on a lightly greased baking sheet Brush with egg mix and bake for about 20 minutes until puffed and golden. Serve hot or cold.

 

Variations

Try a Pizza version by spreading Tomato paste onto the pastry, sprinkle dried Oregano onto the paste, Top with grated Cheese, and roll into wheels as above.

Pizza_Pinwheels_5461

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SELF DOUBT AND ANXIETY – THE POWER OF PROJECTION

SELF DOUBT AND ANXIETY – THE POWER OF PROJECTION

It may seem these two disparate concepts are hardly related, but they often go hand in hand.

Many of us are labelled at birth by our parents, as the ‘clever’ one or the ‘creative’ one or even the ‘hopeless’ child, which is merely based on how they want us to live their lives.

I had a phone call last year from a close friend, distraught after her elderly Mother had thrown out some of her favourite clothes and childhood possessions.  Marianne had recently moved back in to look after her since her Mother’s physical and mental health had deteriorated, but had taken a short break away from the daily grind of being a constant carer.

On her return she had found her wardrobe and chest of drawers invaded, with half of the contents given away to charity.  My friend who already suffers from anxiety and self-doubt, was thrown into a major frenzy – and it took her several days to return to any sort of normality, blaming herself for abandoning her Mother.

This was however, the turning point for Marianne, who realised after several months of counselling that it was in fact her Mother’s way of getting Marianne to carry the rage and anxiety she had been feeling herself prior to her outburst.

Added to this Marianne had always been told that out of all of her siblings, she was the one who was the major disappointment, and would never make anything of her life.  On the contrary, she has been a high achiever, even more so than her two sisters, but who constantly seeks her Mother’s approval, which is never recognised in spite of her major accolades in her successful career in the City.

How many times do you hear in a marriage or relationship breakup, that the man or woman has to leave because his partner is ‘crazy’.    This always sits uncomfortably with me, because you can bet that they will go on to meet someone else and evoke the same pattern of behaviour in their new relationship.

Therapists and psycho analysts call this ‘projection’ as they are in fact again getting their partners to carry their anxiety or feelings of hopelessness so that they don’t have to.

If this is hard to digest, let me give you a very simple example of how it works and how toxic this type of ‘projection’ can be.  A close friend who is also an exceptional therapist had a new client several years ago who was suffering from depression, so badly that he wanted to end his life.  My therapist friend David spent the entire session baffled by his account of what had happened since his wife’s departure, and at the end of the session told her he felt he was carrying his partner’s feelings of desperation.   He left feeling a lot happier.

Two hours later his estranged wife called him saying she was feeling suicidal and wanted to give the relationship another go!  He thankfully declined, and as far as I know, has remained anxiety free ever since.

I hope this may be helpful to those of you who are suffering with anxiety and depression, because if you look closely, you may find some of it may not even be yours to carry.

If you or anyone you know are struggling please check out the following websites for
help or just for someone to talk to

https://www.nhs.uk
https://www.mind.org.uk
https://www.thecalmzone.net/
https://www.samaritans.org/
https://www.rethink.org/

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