by Gemma Thomas | Aug 2, 2017 | Featured, GloWellness
As the mother of two kids and a thriving twenty year old, I feel I am qualified to comment on the recent activity around the much publicised concept that Breast Feeding is the most healthy option for baby.
Well of course it is, but with this sort of pressure on new Mums who are already expected to give birth naturally, perhaps in a birthing pool, without any form of pain relief (as it is purportedly bad for baby bonding), and then blissfully breast feed whilst singing early songs of learning and running a business from home. Well, completely ludicrous and virtually impossible.
I know that in many third world countries and primitive societies, women are surrounding by many other females who massage the Mum who has just given birth, nurture her, support her with breast feeding and bathing the baby, and allow her to have ample sleep to be able to cope with the anxieties of new motherhood.
So in our supposedly civilised Western World, where does the support come from? I clearly remember twenty years ago when pregnant with my first child attending a local National Childbirth Trust pre-natal class. I was completely intimidated by the woman who was running the classes, as she had given birth to five kids, had breast fed them all and was still a size 8 or less! She had the body of a child herself, which made me feel like an elephant as I had gained over four stone throughout the pregnancy.
She was also married to a very wealthy man which gave her access to nannies and home help, which was not available to me in those days with my meagre salary and that of my husband’s which just about got us by each month. We were both teachers.
I remember the discussions then about gas and air being acceptable but any other pain relief being quite taboo. A life size baby doll was passed around and instructions of how to latch the baby onto the nipple was also provided. What they don’t tell you is that it is like having a major metal vice clamped onto your breasts when the baby starts to suck, and I have never been into that sort of pain.
When I eventually gave birth I had gas and air followed by an epidural, and was fortunate enough to still give birth naturally, although it was touch and go at the end, with the ward full of doctors and nurses standing by to do a C-section if needed. Fortunately, I was young and strong and managed to push the baby out myself after the epidural had worn off.
It certainly did not affect my bonding with my daughter who I fell in love with immediately. But I do know that every case is different.
As my default position is ‘guilt’ probably stemming from my Convent upbringing, I was determined to give her the best start in life, and had decided to breast feed no matter what.
The first few days as the milk was coming in was the most difficult, because not only was I not prepared for the complete exhaustion and lack of sleep, but when the hormones kicked in I felt weepy and completely unable to cope.
My daughter was not a good sleeper by nature and still isn’t, and so I had the added disadvantage of a constantly crying baby and one that didn’t seem satisfied with the amount of milk I was providing.
After several days of struggling I finally managed to breast feed fully, but had already topped her up with a little cow’s milk which I was told by a self-righteous breast feeding friend that this had defeated the object. But I had to otherwise I don’t think I could have breast fed at all.
I also developed a very painful breast abscess after a couple of weeks, and had to be put onto anti-biotics, but was told the baby could continue to feed on the other breast. Ouch!
I was fortunate that as I continued I was blessed with oodles of milk which continued for a good year, even when she started eating solids (and no I didn’t cook all her meals from scratch or feed her just raw vegetables), and in spite of the ‘nagging’ from the holier than thou ‘Breast is Best’ brigade, feel that I did my best, even though it was not perfect.
In defence of other Mums who have found breast feeding impossible for a multitude of reasons, I have observed that they have managed to bring up fit and healthy kids, and formula fed babies often sleep a lot better than breast fed ones, giving both Mum and Baby a chance of real bonding without one or the other suffering from exhaustion.
They can also put on weight much quicker than breast fed ones, which is another stigma as you attend the humiliating weigh-ins with other Mums at the clinic. My daughter always came in a couple of pounds short of the ‘average’, which was another unnecessary pressure and completely unjustified.
So what I am trying to say is that as long as it works for you, we all know breast milk is loaded with antibodies and nutritious benefit, but if you are finding it impossible, don’t beat yourself up, because zillions of human beings who have been ‘deprived’ of this initial benefit are leading perfectly normal healthy lives and if we take the pressure off the Mums, perhaps more will find it a perfectly natural way of feeding baby without the judgement that exists in our Society today.
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by Gemma Thomas | Jul 27, 2017 | Featured, GloWellness
When I used to watch my Grandma iron away in her kitchen when I was a kid, she seemed to enjoy the weekly grind with a great deal of ‘elbow juice’, which was her way of demonstrating her worth as a housewife.
Her role then was to bring up the kids, do all the cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing. But even back then it seemed to me that ironing was more of a ritual that took place at a set time or place and once or twice a week, and one she could enjoy as she listened to The Archers or chatted to the Grandkids.
Now, with the fast turnover of clothes, many of which are non-crease and non-iron, it almost seems to be an outmoded pastime, especially in my circle of working Mums. A very close friend of mine discarded her iron as far back as University, proclaiming that it was a sexist activity that should be banned.
Now two marriages and four kids later, she still does not possess an iron, and when a working colleague of her husband’s visited for a weekend from the States and dared to suggest that he needed a shirt ironed, was marched off to the nearby laundry to have it done for him.
I am not that extreme, but do own an iron, and only pull it out when I am in desperate need of an outfit to be decreased which is rare these days.
I never iron sheets or pillowcases and if anyone comes to stay, let them know that they are clean but could be slightly creased, so far having no complaints.
Another friend of mine has recently confessed to revisiting the ironing thing and actually enjoying it. She urged me to have a go and tell her if I really did hate it as much as I imagined, and that she used it as an escape technique where she could de-stress and reflect on the day with a calming effect on her wellbeing.
I agreed to experiment with this newly found form of meditation, and was quite surprised to find out that I actually quite enjoyed the experience. It was not so much the chi energy as the actual satisfaction of seeing previously discarded garments given a new life, and the luxury of sliding into a bed with unusually fresh smelling sheets and pillowcases the same night.
So am I a convert, not really because I have quickly slipped back into my old ways, and my excuse still is ’I have better things to do than slave over a basket full of ironing’.
I am also feeling that housework is fast becoming the new physical workout, and that can include ironing if done properly, especially if you use a steam iron on a hot night! I don’t ever believe it will replace yoga or pilates, but could certainly add to the fitness regime.
So perhaps it could become my secret guilty pleasure, so that instead of doing my daily meditation, I could combine it with ironing and make it the ultimate multi-task. After all, isn’t that what we are famous for?
Sorry my feminist friends.
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by Sharon | Jul 25, 2017 | Featured, GloWellness
It is evident by recent reports from the seemingly politically correct BBC that equal pay across the genders is still an issue of major contention.
It is also evident that we seem to be slipping backwards on so many levels of equality, and so how are we going to resolve the problems that still exist in spite of the tireless efforts on behalf of Women in the Workplace from endless campaigns and representation.
A couple of years ago I met a man who on the face of it appeared to be a typical white middle class misogynist – the CEO of a huge American Oil company, incredibly wealthy and with a multitude of Republican associates. It shocked me rigid when I was introduced to him and he told me that his Company, which was one of the most powerful in the World, displayed its first Recruitment Ad saying ‘We welcome any creed, colour or gender, as long as you can do the Job’. This was back in the 1950s when women were expected to stay at home and look after the kids – but this revolutionary thinking gave birth to one of the most successful companies in the USA, and he believes that it was this diverse thinking was a huge part of its growth.
Women at Boardroom level is still a minority, with a lot of women resigning at around 35 after having kids, finding it too much of a strain, with the lack of support from employers being another factor as part of the statistic.
It has been proven that the presence of women at board level is a huge advantage, with female energy being identified as a positive amongst the abundance of male testosterone.
For those of us who are struggling with the constant juggling act of having a young family and forging a career, there are some brilliant organisations springing up in support of women who want to carry on working or change career, perhaps having had an idea or aspiration to set up their own business these may support and encourage you to do just that. http://www.thewomensorganisation.org.uk/ and www.FemaleEntrepreneurOrganisation.com are two that I would highly recommend, and have advice, ways of developing and monetising your idea or existing company.
On the positive side, many women have found having kids has spurred them on to set up their own business or even their own franchise to enable them to work from home, so that they can take part in the school run and be there when their kids come home from school.
We met the founder of an excellent organisation called Creation Station, who we will be interviewing shortly. Sarah Cressall has built her successful franchise whilst bringing up her three sons, with support from her husband, who is also working full time. So she is a living example of making it against the odds. Check it out on thecreationstation.co.uk – it is an incredible Company with arts and crafts lessons and children’s’ parties and entertainers.
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So we can see that both single parents and those with partners who are happy to share the child care to give them a chance for equality can seize exciting opportunities if they are willing to push the boundaries.
But why does it have to be so hard for women? It does seem that we take one step forward and several in the opposite direction where equal pay is concerned. I do feel that it was a great move forward however and extremely revealing, to learn about the recent pay discrepancy within our most revered public institution, which has confirmed that we still have a long way to go to bridge the gender pay gap. More on that subject coming soon on Glotime.tv
http://www.thewomensorganisation.org.uk/
www.FemaleEntrepreneurOrganisation.com
thecreationstation.co.uk
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