by Dee | May 10, 2019 | Featured
As we dodge another barrage of social media comment on the newly born Archie Harrison from our beautiful Harry and Meghan this week, it does throw some light upon how we chose a name for our offspring.
In my humble opinion Harry and Meghan have made the right choice, and given their first born a name that sets him up to be a ‘normal’ child – and without a title, and one of the people. You couldn’t get more ‘ordinary’ than Archie. The Nation has really warmed to him already.
It speaks volumes about both parents and the ‘label’ they wish their kids to carry around with them for the rest of their lives, and so it is a huge responsibility to name a child.
Remember the song ‘A Boy Named Sue’? For those of you who don’t, it does as it says on the tin, and you can imagine the rest. This poor young man had to defend himself from bullying and ridicule, became a stronger person for it. But do we actually have to give our kids names to burden them even more to add to all the struggles that are thrown at us throughout our lives.
I know a lot of people who have named their babies after the Royal Family, so there are generations of Elizabeth, Margaret, Charles, William, Harry and now Archie. Perhaps they feel it brings them closer to the Monarchy or need icons to influence their thinking.
I speak as an expert on naming and shaming, as I was born in Mississippi to an American father and British mother, and was nicknamed Dixie to go with the territory. Can you imagine the burden of that as I was growing up in a Southern English county and educated at a Convent run by French nuns!!! Can you blame me for changing it to Dee as soon as I understood the cold stares of the nuns at assembly. Many of my school friends with whom I have been reunited as an adult told me they thought it such a ‘cool’ name. Perhaps it is why I named my own daughter Cyd, although she has never really taken to it!
All names have a meaning and if you look at this website https://www.behindthename.com/ you will see there are explanations for every name on the Planet. The name of the day yesterday was Silvia, which is spooky as my own Mother’s name was Sylvia, just a different spelling, whom as you know was the creator and voice of the character Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds. This centuries old name has various meanings like Beautiful Silver Flower or Spirit of the Woods. The latter definitely applied to my Mum as she was such a free spirit.
Many people I know and in the public eye have changed their names completely and reinvented themselves – Elton John and Freddie Mercury to name just two. Another friend who is a barrister changed it from Tracy to Olivia as she said it sounded better in court!
So how important do you think your name is to you? It is something to reflect on and I would be really interested to hear your comments. After all, it could be you are harbouring a gem that could transform the essence of your identity.
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by Glotime | Apr 30, 2019 | Featured, Travel
If you are looking for a City Break not far from home, Canterbury is a stunning Cathedral destination in Southeast England, which really will tick all the boxes and cater to all palates and passions.
Canterbury was originally a pilgrimage site in the Middle Ages. The Ancient walls which were originally built by the Romans, are the boundary for its medieval centre with cobbled streets and timber-framed houses.
Canterbury Cathedral founded in 597 AD is the headquarters of the Church of England and Anglican Church, boasting Gothic and Romanesque stone carvings and stained-glass windows. https://www.canterbury-cathedral.org/
Ancient walls, originally built by the Romans, encircle its medieval centre with enchanting cobbled streets and timber-framed houses. Canterbury Cathedral, founded 597 A.D., is the headquarters of the Church of England and Anglican Communion, incorporating Gothic and Romanesque elements in its stone carvings and stained-glass windows.
There are plenty of wonderful buildings and churches to explore as well as the Cathedral, if you enjoy ancient architecture, but if you want to indulge in food, wine and entertainment, this is also close at hand.
On a recent trip we visited The Marlowe Theatre in The Friars, Canterbury. https://marlowetheatre.com/ which is the recently refurbished Modern theatre for Shakespeare, musicals and stand-up with a studio for contemporary performances. They often have touring shows and household names appearing there so if you like a good play or musical, book to coincide with your holiday.
There are a plethora of restaurants if you are a foodie, and depending on your taste buds and budget you can’t go wrong with the centrally located Cote Brasserie either for a brilliant brunch, pre-theatre meal or romantic supper. The food is excellent and the service first class. https://www.cote.co.uk/restaurant/canterbury/, They also have a great variety of wines and cocktails to toast your time out. The restaurant itself is huge and spacious and so you can also have an intimate meal at your own pace which is worth its weight these days.
If you are watching your diet or want to eat ultra healthy, then try The Skinny Kitchen, also near to the centre, which is ‘a healthy hangout serving clean, fresh food all day long. https://theskinnykitchen.co.uk/ Whatever your diet, goals or macros there’s something for you. Everyday food with a clean, healthy twist. HOW IT ALL STARTED Back in 2014 three friends realised Ibiza was missing a major part of their lifestyle; healthy food. Fuelled by passion and the desire to bring something totally unique to the food industry, they immediately set about opening Ibiza’s first healthy food hangout. But they didn’t stop there. Now with five locations across Ibiza and the UK, The Skinny Kitchen still focus on that initial concept; creative, clean and healthy food with lots of variety, to suit many diets. MISSION They create healthy…
If you are looking for a reasonably priced but highly recommended place to stay The Millers Arms Built in 1826 is an inn positioned in the middle of Canterbury.https://www.millerscanterbury.co.uk/
Guestrooms feature flatscreen TVs, telephones, work desks and complimentary Wi-Fi. Also included are tea and coffee-making facilities. Hair dryers and free toiletries can be found in the private bathrooms. Rollaway/extra beds can be made available upon request.
Wi-Fi and wired internet are both free in public areas is of this hotel, which has its own garden.
A complimentary breakfast is served every morning. Later in the day, guests can enjoy some food and a drink in the bar.
The Millers Arms is under half a mile from Canterbury Cathedral. Marlowe Theatre, the Royal Museum and Art Gallery, Westgate Gardens and Towers and Weaver’s House are all also within half a mile. Other local attractions include St. Dunstan’s Church and St. Augustine’s Abbey are within easy walking distance as well.
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by David Baum | Apr 24, 2019 | Featured, GloWellness
As a public speaker on PTSD, this is one of the questions I am always being asked. Some of the other questions are ‘what makes me an expert? How does PTSD manifest itself in the workplace? What makes a seemingly “normal”, well-adjusted and often “super” salesman/woman suddenly and inexorably crash and burn, often ending up taking their own life and leaving everyone, including their nearest and dearest, scratching their heads.’ I hope that the following article will help you understand these issues.
First thing, let’s try to establish my credentials. I’m not an expert or a trained counsellor — I’m a survivor and I hope the following background will go a long way to explaining why I’m so passionate about making more people aware of the devastating effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I was born on the 8 May 1958 and had two loving parents, an older sister and a younger brother. Looking back, I realise to many I had a privileged background. Not that my parents were wealthy, but we lived in a large house, and my mother, was always looking for ways to earn extra money to subsidise my father’s income, and for a time she was one of the bestselling Avon ladies in the business. She then created the first ever mail-order company selling collectables and was seen for many years as the foremost expert in this field. My sister was a gifted student with an excellent memory and became a solicitor.
For the first 14 years of my life I had a great time. Yes, I failed my 11 plus, but wasn’t traumatized, and I was lucky that my parents decided to send me to a private school, and after this closed down, I attended a Secondary Modern. In the first year at this school, I made friends and joined the athletics squad, as I could throw the discus further than most. Then when I returned to school in the September, aged 14, my life turned upside down.
One of the school bullies realised that I was Jewish, and the reaction was a huge shock to me as the year before some of my class had been at my Bar Mitzvah and there hadn’t been an issue! Nevertheless, this discovery led to me being on the receiving end of a daily barrage of name-calling. Unfortunately, Anti-Semitism, along with other forms of religious discrimination was and still is a huge problem.
In addition to this and according to my class mates, I had committed a far worse crime than my religion, which was to have secured a Saturday job at the local hairdressers. I had also stopped throwing a discus, and gave up my paper round and going to football. This all added up in their book to me being gay, which was actually not true, but illustrated how much prejudice there was across the board.
As anyone knows who’s been bullied, once you’ve given up trying to stand up for yourself, you learn to hide your pain and brush off the dirt from your clothes or recover your property, which often would be used instead of a ball in a game of ‘piggy in the middle’. Some of the bullied become jokers, or in some cases become bullies themselves. Those that are bullied find it very hard to let people know the pain they’re in for fear of what will happen if they reveal or stand up to the bullies.
Regardless of our age, we brush ourselves off and stand up, dry our tears and get on with life the best way we can. That’s how the majority survive.
Unfortunately for many, when they leave school and make their way in to the world, they seem to have developed an aura that a bully picks up on. How do I know this? Because it followed me as my working life progressed?
There came a day, shortly after my 39th birthday. As a family, we’d been through a great deal of trauma, and I suddenly became overwhelmed by the pain of my life. I sat in my car looking at a brick wall, trying to decide what speed I needed to reach if I were to drive my car at it so I could stop the pain. I started to write a note, but then I began to think of the ripples that my action would create and shoved the pad in the glove compartment, dried my eyes and went to work.
By this stage, I was on autopilot. My work was suffering, and I was receiving daily encouragement from my bosses to either shape up or shape out. It was only when one of the directors needed to use my car that my half-written letter was found, and the cat was out of the bag. Between them and my wife, I was dragged kicking and screaming into counselling. It was this action that saved my life, as I was forced to face the many demons that had haunted me.
Whilst counselling was the start of the healing process the journey from despair to happiness took many years. There were times when I could have easily slipped back into desolation, but with the encouragement of others I have reached a ‘Happy Place’ knowing that whatever happens in life, it cannot take me back to the where I was. So yes, I feel I am an ‘expert’.
I hope that you now have a better understanding that PTSD is not solely the preserve of the military or emergency services, but it can and does affect far more people than we realise.
So what are the signs we should be looking for as an indicator that someone is having an emotional crisis? The problem is that, as we know, every person is different, and therefore the triggers can be too numerous to fully understand.
However, warning signs can be seen, if you’re prepared to look for them.
- Has the person changed from someone who’s happy to someone who’s going through the motions?
- Does the person display swings in personality?
- Has the person begun to drink slightly more?
- Has the person’s family been involved in any emotional situation — for example, death of a ?loved one (including a pet), an illness or maybe an accident?
- Have they suddenly been confronted with an unexpected bill?
All of these, with the exception of drink, did affect me at one time or another. However, as I’m not a clinician, I can’t list every conceivable situation. ?So what should you do if you become aware of any changes? ?Start by being human. Suggest that you have a coffee together and chat. If they don’t want to or feel they’re unable to discuss what is “going on”, as they can’t articulate why they feel like they do, suggest they speak to a counsellor. If they are a work colleague, speak to your line manager or boss and advise them of your concerns. Make sure you make time to spend a few moments every day with them until they feel ready to confide in you. If and when they do, there are at least three things that you can suggest:
1) Recommend that they see their GP.
2) Direct them to our website, www.the365challenge.org.uk where we have an ever-growing directory of help and advice.
3) Contact the Samaritans tel 116123 or visit their website https://www.samaritans.org.
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