by Dee | Sep 25, 2018 | Featured, GloWellness
When I met author Sharon McGovern at her house in Grays, Essex recently I was warmly greeted by a sharp, kind, intelligent woman – a writer, wife, mother and philanthropist who has survived against the odds, and is living proof that we as human beings have the capacity to endure the deepest of pain and come out the other side.
Sharon’s story began when she was four years old, after her biological father had left home, and when her step father, Mick Garvey, moved in.
For the next 13 years, Sharon suffered unthinkable abuse and bullying, which she was forced to keep secret from her mother and young brother, for fear of their own demise at the hands of this terrifying man.
It was only years later and after a failed marriage, the birth of three beautiful children and meeting her real life partner was Sharon ready to confront him.
At the same time Sharon had a premonition. ‘It was not a dream, it was different. I saw a small cell, with a window high up, and a man with his back to me sitting on a hard chair. Beside him stood four prison guards, all in uniform, and all with the same face, like clones. I was standing in the doorway to the cell when suddenly the man turned and looked at me. It was my step father. I knew they were waiting to take him somewhere. I also knew the place where he was imprisoned was not in this country, but was in France, Spain or Italy.’ Sharon eventually tracked him down in Spain, where he had been locked away for a serious criminal offence.
This was another frightening but incredibly brave chapter of Sharon’s life when she finally faced Mick Garvey in court in the UK after several years. She saw his face go ashen as she walked into court, as he witnessed her resolve to finally get justice for herself and her family. He was charged of seven accounts of rape and indecent assault, and sentenced – but eventually died in prison.
Many people over the years have asked Sharon if this finally laid ghosts to rest and brought some sort of solace and closure to her years of abuse.
‘Closure, I heard the word ‘closure’ many times in my life to bring Mick Garvey to justice, and afterwards it seemed to be on countless people’s lips: ‘Now you have closure.’ But of course I didn’t. It’s too easy, too glib, to think that because my abuser was behind bars, all the evils of my childhood would be wiped out. There is no such thing as closure – there is never an end. I will take my abuse to the grave with me; it’s with me every day, it’s what has made me who I am. I have had to fight all my life to make sure it doesn’t take over, but I can never deny that it happened, or that it affected me’.
Sharon continues her work with rape and abuse victims and speaks publicly on how to help survivors of crime.
‘I try never to use the word ‘victim’ to refer to my situation. ‘Victim’ would hand the victory to my abuser. The word I use is ‘survivor’ because that’s what I am. Mick Garvey saw me as his victim, he didn’t count on me being a survivor’. Sharon McGovern, Afraid
The book is available from Amazon
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by Dee | Sep 10, 2018 | Featured, GloWellness
A wise philosopher once told me that to find true love you must accept that it comes with great loss – of yourself, your identity and ultimately of the person you love – as one of you will ultimately depart this earth before the other – which is a scary prospect in itself. This is why many of us avoid the great love, as it can be too difficult to manage. Although some have conquered the fear of falling in love.
“I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.” Alice Walker
But what if you could survive the agony and the ecstasy and embrace the anxiety that comes with finding the partner of your dreams. Do you believe you deserve the perfect relationship – because the first person you should fall in love with is yourself.
I recently met a brilliantly ‘switched on’ writer and relationship expert, Trelawney Kerrigan, who has incorporated all of her experience and knowledge on the subject in a book entitled ‘Be the Woman He Falls for Not the Girl He Sleeps With’ which could also apply to men as well as women, as it is all about believing you are good enough for an equal loving relationship.
The book gives some insightful personal experiences, meditation, visualisation and guidance so that we can move forward and avoid those toxic relationships, and dangerous liaisons that can ruin your life.
Love is also not restricted to how old we are or if we have loved before, as we can find great love at any age, and it is never too late to fall in love or find an amazing partner.
‘So, love – when you find it – is something to nurture and treasure. But here’s the thing – being open to finding love on the basis of love alone, ie forgetting about need, social status, financial security, family/society expectations – is a rare human quality. Many of us go under from the pressure of our insecurities and find ourselves ‘settling’. Finding great love takes courage, confidence and unbreakable belief in your own right to happiness.’ Trelawney Kerrigan
It is all the pitfalls that we are familiar with and seem to dominate our lives in love, but somehow Trelawney manages to turn them round and make them insignificant and powerless, so that we can pave the way for our future – to begin our own journey and discover our passage to true love.
“The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love.” Henry Miller
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trelawney-Kerrigan/e/B00CIZRR9C
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by Dee | Aug 28, 2018 | Featured, General
The first piece of advice I was given as a writer was ‘capture the audience in the first three minutes’. I have never forgotten those words of wisdom.
We see a burning house and hear screams of the people inside, we see firefighters and people being dragged from the ruins. But do we care, we feel the tension but we don’t know who these people are.
Cut back a few scenes, and we see a man drive up to the house, he gets out of the car and is greeted by his wife and two young children who are standing at the open door. We see him enter and sit down at the table with his family, and talk about their day. They are chatting about their kids’ school and the family holiday, we get to know them.
We cut to outside and see a man planting an explosive, and see the house go up in flames. Now we are engaged and we really want them to be saved.
Not all of us are aspiring writers or film makers, but more and more people are wanting to make writing part of their lives. Some don’t even know if they have the talent to write a page let alone a novel, but if you have a spark of interest or passion about writing then why don’t you explore the possibilities.
You could begin by forming your own writers group – many have started simply by inviting a few friends over with a couple bottles of wine, some basic ideas and a discussion, and before you know it you have short stories, books or screenplays in the making. Better than crying over ex boyfriends or berating the agony of a recent divorce, and definitely a way of reinventing yourself.
If you are serious about a career change and want to be a writer, then look at one of the writing courses that are around at the moment.
To refresh my own capability as a writer I recently attended a fantastic Writer’s Retreat in the Dordogne in France, The Rocaberti. It was full of enthusiastic writers at all stages of their career, from their very first shot at writing to the more experienced published writer.
The Mentors were all highly motivated, published and well known novelists, screen-writers and film writers and producers. In spite of their success, they were equally as supportive to every mentee and made sure each one had the input they needed to take the next step on their writing path.
You could also explore writers’ groups nearer to home, and there are many good ones – check out the reviews and feedback from attendees on the websites attached to the courses, and that should tell you everything you need to know.
Hope I have got you interested – and within the first three minutes. After all it only takes one minute to make a life changing decision, which could affect everything you do for the next twenty years or more. So what are you waiting for?
Checkout the writers retreat rocabertiwriters.com
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