How many times recently have you heard the words ‘don’t beat yourself up’ or ‘don’t put yourself down’. I can bet it has been said to you a number of times in recent years. I know I am guilty of doing both, and it is now time to stand up to the ‘inner bully’ and show it who is boss.
It is hardly surprising as we are constantly ‘bullied’ by the media, ordering us to look more attractive, younger, thinner, smarter – unrealistic goals when juggling any sort of descent lifestyle.
As a woman of a certain age, I now feel compelled to fight back at this tough tyrant within, and have begun to congratulate myself on bringing up a family – no easy feat, being a great friend and partner, my own skills and talents, and doing a list of my assets. I don’t mean in monetary terms, but my own attributes, and if you search you will find there are many that you can write down about yourself.
If you have this list by your bed, or in a prominent place where you can read it daily, I guarantee the negative feelings relating to yourself will begin to disappear.
Since I instigated this exercise into my own regime, as advised by a renowned life coach, ‘miracles’ started to happen, I was advised that they would. I was sceptical at first, but seeing a close friend successfully turn her life around, I was urged to try it, after all what did I have to lose.
So this, along with daily meditation, my life began to turn around for the good. I can’t explain how things began to improve, but can certainly pinpoint when, and that was the moment I stood up to the inner ‘bully’ and resolved to overturn the negative feelings I had for myself and stop setting myself unrealistic goals.
Small things started to happen at first, like a Yoga class appearing, practically on my doorstep and a part time job opportunity mysteriously coming up that would not eat too much into my time. I have even been given affordable beauty products and treatments at the local spa, and a multitude of benefits I hadn’t previously been made aware of.
Perhaps it is the Universe rewarding me for taking action against the ‘bully’, or maybe I am now freed up to notice my own good fortune, but I recommend taking charge, as it can only be for the greater good, and certainly in these circumstances, it will be for your own inner strength and future.
So, the rule of thumb is that bullies are actually cowards, and if confronted will always back off. So if you have done any sort of meditation, now is the time to have a serious talk with your inner ‘bully’ and tell them their voice is no longer effective in your World.
When the pressure is off you can then decide what is best for you, and you will be surprised at how liberating it will be to make your own decisions, based upon what you really need to make you happy.
If you would like more information on the above subject or any sort of holistic help, please contact us at Glotime.tv, where we can recommend related reading and life coach options.
I think most of us by now will have seen the hilarious video posted on YouTube for World Mental Health Day in 2019 with Prince Harry and and Ed Sheeran faking a misunderstanding about being ginger. A brilliant introduction into the very serious issues surrounding us today around mental health.
As more and more famous people come out to tell their story of dealing with anxiety and depression and with the shocking suicide of stars like Robin Williams through mental health, it has now become apparent that we need to tackle mental health issues head on and not sweep them under the carpet.
Don’t hide anxiety and depression away, discuss it openly, take measures to combat it and even if it does not disappear completely you will have it under control, and most importantly of all – know that you are not alone.
As cliché as it sounds, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ is a wise old saying but very true in this case, as it has been a stigma for so many years to discuss our individual mental health issues almost as if we will be excluded if we do. Perhaps it is inherited memory of a time when that was the case, but far from true today.
The pressures are such that it is almost unthinkable not to have the latest iphone or laptop or to be constantly on social media, so much so that we are forced onto a hamster wheel of ‘success’ and ‘achievement’, with some of the old values of human interaction being thrown out with the bath water. But it is good to talk.
The key to dealing with the ‘demon’ of our society is to listen to each other without judgement, and listen also to ourselves. There may be no apparent reason why many of us are suffering, some of the most anxious and depressed people appear to have everything, a beautiful family, friends, successful career and some are extremely wealthy. There is no rhyme or reason and Mental illness does not discriminate.
Another wonderful video put together by both Royals and Celebrities is EVERY MIND MATTERS, which is a new online initiative to help all of us deal with our individual mental health concerns and help us make a plan to manage them so that we know we are in this together.
Fame was once bestowed only upon the revered members of the Nation like Kings or Queens, successful Scientists and gifted writers or performers. People who had actually achieved something, or of course who were born into Royalty.
In recent years though we have seen a rise in reality TV, from Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to Any Way is Essex, pulp viewing but hugely popular nonetheless, and producing huge reality ‘stars’ who endorse products, open high profile events and even switch on the Christmas lights due to their popularity.
X Factor and The Voice has also lead to huge exposure for thousands of budding singers and performers, who even if they win are not guaranteed a career, but certainly achieve their 15 minutes of fame that everyone seems to be seeking.
So what happens when you achieve that fame or notoriety? Does that mean your problems are solved and you live happily ever after?
Well let’s take a look at that belief a little more closely. The best way to start is to take a look at movie stars like Marilyn Monroe and Robin Williams who both took their lives as their fame was just not enough to block out the pain of their suffering.
Princess Diana was another good example of being the most famous and revered woman on the Planet but was one of the unhappiest as she couldn’t live with her own demons and the fact that her husband actually did not love her.
When speaking with a well know analyst recently whose patients are mainly the rich and famous, she told me that the majority of her clients can’t cope with the fact that fame does not ease the pain.
She couldn’t share her confidentiality, but told me that anxiety and depression with several of her well known clients had actually increased as a result of them becoming famous.
I am not talking to you from a great height. In fact, I too have known many struggling actors and performers and been one myself, with huge talent but have never ‘made it’, whatever that means. It does seem unfair that ‘fame’ is sometimes just the ‘click of the switch’ that happens to random people for no particular reason, whereas true talent is often ignored and left behind.
So what is the solution if the stars are aligned and we are transported in the World of celebrity and fame without even trying. It has happened to a small section of the Nation and is well deserved if as a result of a special achievement or accolade. This seems to have a more favourable outcome with people like Marie Curie who discovered a ground breaking cure for cancer.
But what about the wannabes who just want to get into Love Island without very much substance to back it up? Take a look at the majority of the contestants of these types of shows, who have already disappeared into insignificance or one or two that have taken their own lives.
What value is fame, and how does it serve us. Only you can answer that, but it is food for thought, and I would love to hear your own take on fame as I am still searching for the answer, not for fame itself but why it is so important to so many people.